


Censored by the Universe itself

by lottipoppi



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Sherlock (TV), Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And I couldn't leave Crowley out, Basically Porn, But funny, Death is a little shit, F/M, M/M, Multi, Ninth Doctor Era, Tenth Doctor Era, This is when Superwholock and the Marvel fandom explode, Yesandcupids, and maybe maybe a surprise apparition from Nine and Ten, and of Pepper, and sad, goodbye sanity, maybe a bit of Ianto feels, mentions of Sam Winchester - Freeform, plotting timelords, well I suck at tags, why o why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 04:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3314111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottipoppi/pseuds/lottipoppi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, basically there is this wonderful post of Facebook that starts with a: "Jack Harkness, Irene Adler, Dean Winchester and Tony Stark Walk into a bar... the ending of this joke has been censored by the Universe itself" and it continues with a "However, it is available on AO3". Well, I-ve checked every possible tag and the ending ISN'T available on AO3 so I thought why the hell not? Add in a bit of scheming time lords and the result is very fun thank you very very much. </p>
<p>Relax and enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Censored by the Universe itself

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a teaser chapter, comments and kudos will bring you more!! :D  
> Please be nice, English isn't my first language and I still don't have a beta reader.

The morning after leaving Rose for the last time at Bad Wolf Bay, the Doctor was shattered. However, he was reassured by the knowledge that his semi-human doppelganger would keep her company better than he ever could with his considerably longer lifespan. He had been staring at his hands for a while, lost in his reminiscing, when he was broken out of his stupor by the Tardis phone ringing. Considering that the last time this had happened the person calling had been modified by alien technology there was every reason for him to be apprehensive so he grabbed his sonic screwdriver and slowly inched his way towards the Tardis doors. When he opened them he suddenly found himself in Chicago during the Great American Apocalypse, he couldn't understand why the phone had stopped ringing or why he was here but somewhere at the back of his mind he remembered this place.

So the Doctor set out into the crispy morning air of this city, the cold wind making his trench coat billow and slap behind him, announcing his arrival to the trees and the lampposts that were apparently the only other beings present in the streets, the humans too terrified of the ongoing events to even leave their own homes. Suddenly the smell of the air changed, sulfur overwhelming the Time Lord's senses. He turned sharply towards the new presence, screwdriver held tightly in his right hand and eyes as hard at still.

Imagine the shock at being met with a very formal Englishman in a suit "Well, old boy, is this the way to greet an old friend?" The Doctor smiled immediately "Fergus! Last time I saw you, you were still learning how to juggle! What happened to you in these last 300 years?"

Crowley smiled "Well, the short version is, I gave my soul away for the best ten years of my life, I became a demon in hell and now I'm the king of the Crossroads. What can I say, career development. And you? Still platonically travelling around with beautiful women?" It was obvious that the comment was meant to tease but the Doctor's face suddenly turned very serious. "I'm not always the one who leaves them behind, you know?" And Crowley, being the sensible businessman he is, left the topic alone.

"Why did you call me here, Fergus?" The Doctor asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Oh my, I thought you were smarter than that. I may be more powerful now but I certainly don't have enough power to summon a Tardis. No, who called you here is a dear friend of mine. I am just your steward, albeit a very classy one." Crowley smirked.

The two men walked companionably down the street, alone in the deserted city, catching up on the few centuries they had been apart. After all, the loss of Gallifrey in the Time War was still news for the demon. They quickly reached a pizza shop where all the curtains were drawn and Crowley gestured to the door with a meaningful eyebrow raise "I can't go any further, but the one who called you is waiting inside, hopefully with a nice meal too."

The Doctor was puzzled but quickly hugged his old friend and stepped inside.

The restaurant was mostly empty, with the slight exception of three men sitting at a four people table, each with a steaming pizza in front of them. The first man was rather skinny, his taut arms and legs almost an oxymoron when compared with the speed he was devouring his pepperoni at. The second one was a middle-aged man, naked and with a Nutella flavoured pizza and ice cream... Wait, was he sobbing? The third presence however was what unnerved him the most. His ninth reincarnation sat at the table, wolfing down a pizza covered in bananas and conversing companionably with the other two.

"Ah, Ten, there you are we were waiting for you." the gaunty man said. "Why don't you take a seat, so we can begin our chat."


End file.
